I Hope I Come Back

As of late, art has been affecting me much differently than normal, mostly in that--it’s not.  I normally spend my time daydreaming and imagining things in similar forms, but less tangible and more meaningful.  Recently, I’ve noticed that I take art for what it is, ask few questions, and hardly enjoy ingesting, let alone digesting it.

It’s strange for me, really.  I look at a tree, I don’t see a tree.  I see a channel, a gateway, into another world that breathes and lives much differently than my own.  I see a purity, a truth, another dimension.  Wooden Giants frozen in time, from the innocence of beginning to the judgement of the end, waiting patiently with spirit and knowledge.  They’re unable to move, unable to speak, now bound by man’s offense, rooted deep into the spoiling earth, perhaps never to live out or see their original purpose, of which we’ll never know.

And on and on. 

But I haven’t thought like this for quite some time.  I haven’t felt the burden of the darkness in the world, or the inexplicable rush of knowledge.  Apathy has taken much of what made me connect to the world, and much of what made me justly disconnect from the world. 

Instead I’m freely floating around object and idea, bouncing meaninglessly off of both, whirling and wreathing deeper into a world of squares and squares.

I think I’ve recently discovered why.

I’ve been working on the story I’m writing, for what feels to me, like far too long.  I’ve lived in one world, the world of Tahynain in the land of Rolmanan.  It bustles and happenings happen, adventure and gain--but far too slow.  The ideas have been floating in my brain for too long, the vision is becoming stale, and I’m afraid it has consumed much of what free creativity my mind possesses.  I need to finish this tale so that a new one may begin to grow.

I do hope my real mind returns.

"Digital Veil"

The Human Abstract is a progressive metal band whose music reflects the power of their lyrics. 

A couple days ago, I was listening to the song “Digital Veil” on their 2011 album, also entitled Digital Veil.  The following are some of the lyrics to this song:

Pull me from the gallows
Pull me from the gallows of this fibre optic nation
I cannot compute why, why we celebrate this mediocrity

Just let me download my
latest update right now
Just give me access to
my latest opinion
Now, now, give it now, now (give it now)

Unplug me from this fantasy
my eyes have seen the sun
Have we all become voyeurs
covered by this digital veil

Direct my mind
just keep me occupied
don't let me find
something that is worth my time

The album embodies the current nature of the way we use technology, illustrating the desperate attitude that comes with it.  “Digital Veil” is the perfect name for the song, claiming that our culture has blinded itself against reality by our incessant need to plug into technology. 

The words come alive when they’re coupled with the music, hitting hard on “hang me from the gallows of this fibre optic nation,” a powerful claim, that shows that the member of this band would rather fall from this world than take part in it masking itself more and more from humanity.

As a writer, it’s difficult to determine how much of this world I want to be a part of.  Do I want a twitter, a blog, a facebook, etc., to advertise and promote myself so that my readers can get to know and trust me?  Even then, is it worth gaining someone’s trust by typing words from behind a screen?  Is it worth developing vicarious relationships to gain support? 

Perhaps it is an unnatural and archaic thought to have in this time, but it does seem draining to me to commit to spending time creating a “digitial”, virtual world when I could be spending that time interacting with and experiencing new places and people and growing my writing.