As of late, art has been affecting me much differently than normal, mostly in that--it’s not. I normally spend my time daydreaming and imagining things in similar forms, but less tangible and more meaningful. Recently, I’ve noticed that I take art for what it is, ask few questions, and hardly enjoy ingesting, let alone digesting it.
It’s strange for me, really. I look at a tree, I don’t see a tree. I see a channel, a gateway, into another world that breathes and lives much differently than my own. I see a purity, a truth, another dimension. Wooden Giants frozen in time, from the innocence of beginning to the judgement of the end, waiting patiently with spirit and knowledge. They’re unable to move, unable to speak, now bound by man’s offense, rooted deep into the spoiling earth, perhaps never to live out or see their original purpose, of which we’ll never know.
And on and on.
But I haven’t thought like this for quite some time. I haven’t felt the burden of the darkness in the world, or the inexplicable rush of knowledge. Apathy has taken much of what made me connect to the world, and much of what made me justly disconnect from the world.
Instead I’m freely floating around object and idea, bouncing meaninglessly off of both, whirling and wreathing deeper into a world of squares and squares.
I think I’ve recently discovered why.
I’ve been working on the story I’m writing, for what feels to me, like far too long. I’ve lived in one world, the world of Tahynain in the land of Rolmanan. It bustles and happenings happen, adventure and gain--but far too slow. The ideas have been floating in my brain for too long, the vision is becoming stale, and I’m afraid it has consumed much of what free creativity my mind possesses. I need to finish this tale so that a new one may begin to grow.
I do hope my real mind returns.
Don't be in a rush to finish it. Set it aside and do something new. Come back to it when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Maybe it's time for a new perspective? A Novel is a huge undertaking. Don't give up, but give yourself a break. Let yourself entertain some new stories and ideas. It'll help you when you come back to your book.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your apathy. It's like the real world is always trying to suffocate my creativity and enthusiasm towards life and stuff. It's lame. I couldn't imagine trying to write a novel while feeling this way.
ReplyDeleteCaptivating thoughts on trees. People don't think about trees enough. Trees are so much more than trees.